Duck Tape It SHUT!

Easter Sunday at our church was nothing short of spectacular! If you follow me on social media then you may have seen a few teaser videos in my stories. Our musical lineup included a singing choir, bell choir, brass section, string section, organ, piano, praise band, and soloists. We were playing and singing THE BEST Easter songs and packing in as many selections as we could. 

I was being featured as a soloist during communion. The band, string section, piano, and one back-up singer were all backing me on the song “Is He Worthy?” I was prepared but still a little nervous. I’ve been singing in public and professionally since 2005. My favorite place to sing is church and my favorite holiday is Easter! I had a lot of favorite songs in the mix so my nervous energy was abundant. Sometimes that nervous energy comes with voices in my head. I can literally have an entire conversation in my mind while I’m also singing (or speaking) in front of large crowds. Can you relate or does this just make me sound crazy? No, I’m not confusing this with multi-tasking!

I was discussing this very thing with my husband during our drive to Easter family dinner. I was explaining to him that I was in the middle of my song - in my favorite venue on my favorite holiday - and my brain started warning me “don’t mess up” and “are you really good enough to be doing this?” and “at any moment you might fall down and faint.” I could see myself lying on the ground and someone calling the ambulance! I kept pushing that voice to the back of my brain but that voice kept chasing me around inside my mind. It was the imposter syndrome trying to get me. At one point during the song I stomped my foot and hit the high note (telling the syndrome to back down. It did.).

After my song, I sat down and smiled, sort of laughing at the fact I have been fighting that little voice for almost 20 years. I refuse to let it win. I won’t let it rob me of the joy of doing what I love.

During the service I sat and listened to others showcasing their gifts. I was in awe that I got to be a part of such talent. I watched the cellist play with passion in her eyes while the three violinists swayed from side to side. The piccolo trumpet was hitting the best notes! The organist was practically dancing as she played with her feet and two keyboards.

Could I really sit among such talent? There was the voice again.

Every single person on our musical line-up has musical gifts running out the ying-yang. And yes, I had the right to sit among them. 

Too cocky? 

I don’t think so. When you work hard for something you love then you tell the imposter syndrome to shut up. 

On that Easter evening we flipped on the TV to watch my niece on American Idol (yes, she made it to Hollywood)! Over the course of two hours we watched the singers battle it out. The post-performance interviews really struck me. Every contestant was battling the imposter syndrome, insecurity, nervousness, or a relative to those I just mentioned. The nerves, the voices, and the self doubt are a part of us all. Including you! I know you fight insecurities because I do too. 

Here is how you get over those insecurities…do the work and then confidently duck tape that voice shut. 

The more work you put in the louder your confidence grows. The more work you put in the easier it is to show up for the experience. The more work you put in the easier it is to silence the inner critic. 

In summary: do the work and show up. That critical voice is not real but your talent is. If your talent is lacking then work harder and find a coach. Skills can be developed. I once thought I couldn’t sing. In fact I determined singing was my greatest fear! Facing the inner critic over and over has allowed me to step into one of my greatest joys: singing! Tell your inner critic to back off and step into those amazing experiences that are waiting for you! You get to be part of such amazing things once you find the duck tape.

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