Cue The Drama!

Thanksgiving… it's next week! Cue the drama!

So often Thanksgiving can start thankful yet end completely different.

In my last message I sent you a heart-felt reminder to take the moments (with the people you love). *If you missed that little nugget of email gold, you can read it here.

But this week is a message about the reality of those precious moments turning into a dramatic major motion picture. How can you prevent that from happening?

Thanksgiving at our house is loud and chaotic. The ladies will be found in the kitchen whipping up way too much food (and drinking mimosas).

Laughter will be heard throughout the house and the aroma of turkey will quickly be the overwhelming aroma of everyone’s hair. Everything will be homemade except the cranberry sauce out of the can (I still don’t understand this phenomenon). I know my Mom envisions a family feast served piping hot, but Dad typically prepares “a few words” along with a prayer to deliver, but not until the food is on the counter and ready to be served. The words and prayer will last an hour (45 minutes if we are lucky). By the time we are done the turkey will be cold and the colorful conversations will commence around the table. Religion and politics are always up for discussion at our house. Sex usually isn’t part of the conversation but it isn’t banned either. So there you have it… the three topics most people avoid are acceptable and discussed around our family table. It’s important to note Thanksgiving will technically start the Tuesday or Wednesday before as family starts arriving in town. It will go until Sunday afternoon when everyone heads home to recover before Monday morning.

By the end of the weekend someone is usually in tears… be it a toddler or an adult who had their feelings hurt. 

Sound familiar?

Am I getting you excited for next week? Sorry. 

Actually, I love these gatherings even with the drama. Why? Because I have learned my limits and I take breaks.

Here is the point in this whole email...

FISH, FAMILY, AND FRIENDS STINK AFTER THREE DAYS. All of them!! A fish doesn’t want to stink but it does. Same goes for family and friends. They don’t want to stink, but they do. It is what it is, so accept it. 

This rule applies year round and not just at the holidays. It is worth repeating:

Fish, family, and friends STINK AFTER THREE DAYS. 

Don’t break the rule and overstay! (If you can’t help but break the rule, keep reading because I will address how to approach the broken rule in a few paragraphs.)

Last summer my brother invited me to come meet his baby girl. She was six weeks old. He and his wife were finally ready for company. I picked the dates and hopped on a four hour flight. I traveled across the country for a quick three night stay (only two full days). 

“Why so short an amount of time?” several people asked. 

Because I know the rules about fish, family, and friends!

Most people are polite so they won’t say you stink until they just blow their fuse. Everyone can (usually) hold it together for three days! With just three days you know there is a beginning, a middle, and an end. With just three days you get the best of people and with three days you can give the best to people! 

What to do when the rule is broken? 

Prepare yourself in the same way you would prepare for battle! Have a plan.

Every year we go to visit my mother-in-law for at least two weeks. That is a VERY LONG TIME! She is 89 so our intention is to help out, but this really puts a damper on my three day rule. The duration has pushed me to a breaking point in the past. Like all things in life: you live and you learn. 

I love my mother-in-law (seriously, I do!), but as I approach the three day mark I can feel a shift in my attitude. But that is okay because I have a plan. I excuse myself… sometimes for the day. I may go find a new hiking trail, go for a bike ride, or go shopping for a stage outfit. It doesn’t really matter what I do as long as I go and do it! It recharges my batteries. As the days move forward I make sure I add in some quiet time for yoga. I go to church. I take my dog for a walk. I read a book. Taking this time for myself allows me to be present when we sit and chat. It allows me to love my family for who they are. It allows me to enjoy helping out, be it cleaning or painting. It allows me to not get frustrated as we talk over the news that is blaring from the other room. It allows me to bring my best self to the gathering and also allows me to see the best in those around me! When I first started taking a "time out" I thought I was being selfish, but I quickly realized that it was no different than fueling my body with healthy food. When you eat, it is providing fuel and nutrients. Is that selfish? Absolutely not!

So…

What is your plan for this holiday season? What do you need to do for YOU so you can be your best self and bring out the best in others?

Have a plan on how you best recharge your batteries so you can be your best self and make great memories… not memories of tears. Tears aren’t really that fun anyway.

Happy Thanksgiving!

xoxo,
Adrienne

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