Self-confidence doesn’t just happen. Good news: it is something you can build! Remember, when you are building anything - it takes time, energy, and effort. Below are four tips on how to build your self-confidence.
Tip one: Practice, practice, PRACTICE! And when you are done practicing, practice some more.
When I was younger I thought the older I got the less I would have to practice but the truth is the older I get the more I practice. As a professional I spend more time practicing then I did as an amateur! What does that tell you? Practice, while it doesn’t make perfection (I don’t believe in perfection), allows you to silence the negativity because you become more confident in what it is you’re practicing. Practice literally builds a foundation of confidence.
I’ve heard a lot of people tell me they don’t have any extra time to practice. Quite frankly, those are excuses. I like to challenge people to find an extra five minutes in their day – they look at me kind of weird because they don’t understand what a measly five minutes can do for them. I go on to explain, if you spend just five minutes a day practicing something it can have huge results. Five minutes a day for an entire year (365 days) adds up to 1825 minutes. If you spend a solid 1825 minutes practicing anything you are going to get better! The key is committing to the entire year. Five minutes becomes powerful when compounded day after day. Yes, when it stands alone it is just a measly five minutes.
I am a fantastic keynote speaker. That may sound cocky, but it’s not. I know I’m fantastic because of the hours I have put in practicing. You can have that same kind of confidence and empowerment if you just PRACTICE.
Tip #2: What you put in is what you get out.
What you feed your mind will have a direct impact on your attitude and your attitude affects your confidence. It all works together.
If you want to be a confident person you want to be mindful and aware of what you’re watching on TV, what you’re reading, what you’re looking at online, and who you are interacting with (both in person and online). Self-confidence has a lot to do with what you put in your mind and who you surround yourself with.
Take a step back and act as a detective. What is populating your social feeds? Is it positive or does it lean toward the negative? If it leans toward the negative it is time to start making some changes in the things you consume. I understand change is not easy, but I also understand you are here because you are looking for ways to improve your confidence. This is an area of improvement so start making the changes.
Input = output.
Positive input = positive output.
Tip #3: You are who your friends are.
Take a step back and look at who your friends really are: what do they talk about? Are they positive or negative? Do they set goals or constantly whine? What kind of activities are they involved in?
What you observe about the people you spend your time with is how people would describe you as well. Do your friends build you up or cut you down?
One of my favorite scriptures about the company we keep is from 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Bad company corrupts good character.” You cannot be going positive places while hanging out with negative people. Need I say more?
I will…
There was a study conducted by two professors (one a physician and sociologist from Yale University and the other a Professor of Medical Genetics and Political Science from the University of California) that talks about happiness and attitude as a virus. It’s contagious.
They concluded that creating environments with people who are motivated and positive increases your own probability of success. For each additional happy friend you have, it increases your probability of being happy by 9%! Per person! And happy people tend to be confident. The Bible and science are both telling us that who we interact with has a direct impact on our lives!
Choose your friends, colleagues, and acquaintances wisely.
Tip #4: tame the voices in your mind. All of us have a voice in our head. What we say to ourselves has a direct impact on how we walk out into the world with confidence or lack there of. What are you saying to yourself?
We ladies spend a lot of time in the world of comparison and looking at ourselves in the mirror. What do you see? Do you only focus on the negative? Truth be told, if someone else said to you what you say to you “them would be fightn’ words.” If you’re not going to let someone else talk to you that way, why are you talking to you that way? Stop it! Redirect your mind.
When I’m in the outdoors and the negativity or self-doubt creeps in I like to “stop” and redirect my mind. What do I see? What do I hear? What do I smell? I do anything to disrupt the negative thoughts. It allows me to get out of the negative space. Over time, and with practice, you learn to tame the voices and train yourself to have a positive self-talk. And remember, what you say to yourself… you hear.
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